I don't think there is a "supposed to happen" scenario.
I do believe you are looking to get your wife to notice small short lived things. And that will become very frustrating for you
and you are decreasing the chances of her noticing any change b/c you are only doing them to get her to notice
which means they are not actual changes in you. Just "tactics" to get her back.
Forget the dating while you are still married under the same roof. That is so reactive and retaliatory and it will absolutely not help you get a recon
LATER ON when your w sees your confidence or that other women notice you, it may help
and it will help YOU get your confidence back too. But that's so far down the road
you seem to be spinning a lot, hoping a 2 day time period changes her course.
Stop the spinning. Are you GAL at all?
And have you gotten either the Div Busting book or the Divorce Remedy book?
They are very helpful and will clarify a lot of your questions. Do read one of them.
What are the activities or classes or musical instruments or languages or sports or volunteer activities or places
you are interested in? Start checking them out and begin to GAL b/c that will help you stay sane
and it will also help you detach (stay sane) and
it will help you bring more to the table as a partner (for someone, whether it's your wife or not.)
Hang in there
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016