Giving my wife some of my GI bill costed me nothing.
So what do I tell her when she says she wants to go back to school or get a job? I always tell her she will do great.
Does she really have to "do great"? I'm asking. For some people, especially if they're married to a defined career person (you are in the military with a defined MOS, my h is an MD with a defined MOS) the expectations of greatness are a lot to live up to.
But the expectations of "greatness" from my h were, frankly, a drag. Why? Impossible.
Meaning, - in my experience as a working mom with h as my co-parent, I could only be "great" at one or the other, parenting or career.
I did ALL the childcare while at home, and all the planning for lunches and clothes and activities, while I worked full time. H was working. And if i had to travel for work,
OMG the kids were on their own. (The one year my sister was assigned to our area was so great b/c she'd take my kids when I travelled.I could not have taken that job if not for her).
My point is, H was not a great partner for those years - and in his defense, his career did not allow for that anyhow.
I doubt he's even aware of this ^^^reality or clued in, to how hard it was on the kids or me b/c frankly, he did not see it.
(I recall times he brought the kids to neighbors at midnight b/c he got a call, never thinking he was imposing on them, but it always made me uncomfortable.
He also brought them to the operating room lounge when he was called at 4 am and I was out of town. (I'm sure the nurses loved watching them so he could do surgery).
Point is, h likely sees no problem with this^^^ and many service members just do not know how something like that happens but the inability of the soldier to change schedules or accommodate a spouse's career, hinders the spouse much more than they even know. How could you really know?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
