I wish that I could give you a huge hug. You are emotionally, mentally and physically drained from dealing w/this man. You have a lot of anger bubbling under the surface. You will need to find a way to release that anger or it's going to make you a miserable woman and it's keeping you in one place. Find something physical to release that anger on.
About the conversation w/your xh about the money, I know it hurts like heck, but you've got to find a way to stop referring to his gf. Stop putting yourself down in front of him. If you were truly nothing to this man, you wouldn't have been married as long as you were nor would you have had children. He's not ready to hear what you have to say and your reminders are making him angry, because he knows deep down that he was wrong in walking away. He's not ready to face the consequences of his actions and there's no telling if he ever will be.
If he does things for the kids or even you, just thank him and keep it short and sweet. Again, you are preaching to a man who is deaf at the moment. By saying the things you did, you are justifying to him why he left you. You are a great mother and a warm and loving human being...show him this by your words and actions. The best revenge is to live well. Show him that you don't need him and that you can move forward and be happy. Show him!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
