25yearsMLC 10 Later I FILE D part 7

[25yearsmlc]

Always seems a bit more complicated on the other side of the pond! A friend of mine is going through D at the mo. Despite him having a business two properties and two good pensions his lawyer recommended he offered cash instead and she went for it!

My guess is that your friend had good reason to take the cash instead. I don't want to spend, for instance, $100 in legal fees to get $125 a year later.

I would greatly prefer a buy out at this point, to cut ties to h, and b/c I'm not interested in having the sword of Damacles over my head every time h feels like going back to court. Plus "A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush" so to speak.

So far, for me, it has not been the law that isn't fair (per se), b/c I got a decent ruling from the court.

It's the PROCESS in which the payor holds out -even when ordered to pay support - and keeps holding out until you have to drag their a$$ to court every time they have a tantrum AND THEN attach their assets in another state - or country - and then sell the assets to assert a claim against. Plus assets they took in the first place...

(OR get a judgement if you believe they'll get a bonus or inheritance. And you must keep track of that well, both of which are energy and resource consuming).

I'm not giving up the pension, however. The buy out is for other assets and spousal support.

For many women (or whoever the lower earning spouse is) the tragedy comes if there are is no employment or if there are no assets other than income

and then the payor hides it (which chances are, my h has done).

And when there are small children. It's really a sleazy act of selfishness, vindictiveness and cowardice.

And it's not rare.

So yeah, if the offer is reasonable I'll take it, and move the he11 on in my life.

H's problems with our kids are NOT my problem, though I hope/pray for whatever is best for my kids. Not even sure what that is, at this point. But again, not my problem.