Still here. Still not detached... (Part 2)

[Painful]

I now truly believe that all of that "tough" talk is posturing and complete misunderstanding of what it feels like to face losing a family. On top of that just the thought of some d--khead idiot OM possibly being involved in raising your kids is simply terrifying.

I don't know that I agree with this. We ALL want (or wanted) to save our families or we wouldn't be here, but the standard advice here for a WS is "throw the cheater out of the MBR and if they want space, THEY can leave the house!"

We've all faced this, but we all still give this advice--and I assure you that few if any of us misunderstand what it feels like to face losing a family.

EastTN - I think you've misread who I was talking about. It wasn't at all about the people on this board but the outside friends who give tough advice (mostly "just divorce and move on") yet have no understanding whatsoever of what we're going through upon BD/A discovery and subsequent S.

Don't know if you're right or wrong re handling d--khead OM being part of your kids lives. All I know is that I'm definitely dreading this possibility. Fortunately I don't need to face this issue right now as my WW has not revealed OM's presence to D yet for whatever reason. I know we can't read WW's minds but maybe, not holding my breath but just maybe, WW will be "smart" enough to end the A without going through that experience.