I agree with Kaizen. Just get yourself busy and avoid initiating anything. My H once told me something similar and even decided that it's not an important need and never met it. It's really painful. I wish I had better advice on how to handle that. I just learnt to do without that and never expected him to meet that need but I ecame so unhappy.
M 11 Dated for 4 years before then Me 35 H 39 D 10 BD Feb 2016 A 2015 Dec I was never in a R with the OM. Had a one night stand & I stopped contact immediately I confessed the A to H and we went for MC
Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka that I totally agree with.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
I'm about halfway through DB book. What's the difference between DB and DR? H started talking about what to do with the house whether I want it or he buys it from me. I told him I wasn't sure and changed the subject.
I'm trying to do my own thing. I do not text him unless he texts me. Even though we're both home today we're doing separate things. He made me breakfast today which was nice.
This is going to sound bad but does anyone see other people while working on DB? Like just as friends go out with other guys? Part of me thinks if I do this it might make him more interested again knowing that there's other people out there? I heard him say he's trying to meet other women just to talk and make friends.
I'm about halfway through DB book. What's the difference between DB and DR? IMO, the DR is the 2nd edition of Div Busting. It has more techniques in it, and less time spent on why divorce stinks. I read both, but for ME, once the decision to DB was made, I didn't need more convincing.
H started talking about what to do with the house whether I want it or he buys it from me. I told him I wasn't sure and changed the subject.
^^good. "It's a lot to process and I need some time." Then change the topic or get out of the room.
I'm trying to do my own thing. I do not text him unless he texts me. Even though we're both home today we're doing separate things. He made me breakfast today which was nice.
This is going to sound bad but does anyone see other people while working on DB? Like just as friends go out with other guys? Part of me thinks if I do this it might make him more interested again knowing that there's other people out there? Well it's not a part of trying to save your m. Or setting an example of fidelity.
But there's nothing wrong with some mystery and looking your best.
I'm not sure this is right to say to you at this point, but I read an article written by a man who left his wife for OW and then married the OW. The title was "Don't Do What I did".
When he first left his ex-wife , he saw that she did not date and he felt validated that she must not be very desirable, and his choice to leave made sense. (It only occurred to him later that she was doing what she thought was best for their small children).
He confessed that it was only later, when she began dating and he saw that she was well treated (better treated, actually) by the new man in her life, that he began to remember why he married her in the first place.
Then he saw her fall in love with the new man, and marry him. He found himself very jealous and sad.
And now, years later, he deeply regrets the damage he inflicted on the kids and the loss of a great woman and the closeness he could have had with their kids too. Even though he said "it's okay and conflict free, the kids will never have with me what we might have had..."
Indeed...
I heard him say he's trying to meet other women just to talk and make friends.
Ouch. That statement is a red flag, I'm afraid.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Update: I failed on not doing things I would do- I freaked out when I got home over dishes- I told him I feel like we're married still - if he wants to be more like roommates he had to do his share of the dishes - when I lived with a room mate leaving dishes like this would not be tolerated. So after some yelling he did them.
We fought more then I locked myself in my room and he went to his. Later on after cooling down he admits that he partly has his doubts about what he's doing but he still feels like he needs to be on his own - since he never had the opportunity to do that before. So I'm not sure if I continue to do my own thing and give him space for a while if there's still chance.
