I agree with dirxml to a certain extent. Yes, I believe your W would have had an A with anyone if not this guy. Because my own W would have done the same. But that shouldn't give OM a blameless pass. He is just as guilty for engaging in an A with a married woman. I believe in consequence, but I am not upset with you for deciding not to turn him in. Just don't think you won some points with yiur W for being the bigger person.
Like you I took half of the blame for my role in the MR, which led to my W having the A. I found out about the A on a Friday morning and by that night after thinking about things all day, I apologized to her for my role in things. Never got am apology for her part. And my W in response contacted OM inviting him to come into town for more sex. WW don't give a damn about you admitting your faults at this point.
If anything she learned that I wasn't going to snap and remain logical, which made her feel even comfortable with the A. Take the blame for your wrongs in the MR. But never take the blame for her decision to habe the A. Because you will find yourself blaming yourself every time she messes with this guy. You need to separate yourself from her behavior, because it has nothing to do with you.
