My wife told me something the other day. She said she doesnt think she can ever have those past intimate feelings for me again, then she caveats with she doesnt know if that comment is coming from a place of hurt. Because she is still truly hurting.
My W told me I was the best sex she has ever had and I was her rock. Then she does this. Doesn't make sense. They may not feel that way now but things can change. Hopefully the feelings she has for you in the future are even stronger than what she had before. Space, distance, time...let her work through her stuff and you do the same. Hopefully with the space and distance she will realize how much she loves you.
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Do I have the power to ellivate that hurt or does only time?
I think she has to work on her issues and your only power is by working on you. I think you might have some in-direct control but ultimately her issues she has to deal with and face. Space, distance, time and Joe Joe 2.0
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IMO I think we have affects on our S, but we spend so much time looking for responses. It is the best way to gauge if something is working or not. But, what if the true gauge is you? What if you are constantly getting better, you are becoming positive and optimistic, you are becoming sexy, and only a person a fool could leave, then your WAS has enter into a world of true doubt when and if they leave. Starting a new relationship with doubt, can never be a good thing.
Just do you, I think that is the only thing you can do. Let her go on her journey. When you get clarity you may realize you don't want her back anyway. Some how you have to get confident and flip the script. Get to the point where you could care less if she comes back or not....When you get to that point I think she will notice.
