So your buddy's W who was still married to him was laid up with OM for 2 years. And he still took her back? Don't know if I would still be around for that.
I've said this in various threads, but in my opinion this is exactly why there aren't more recons. It's not because of the WAS, it's because of the LBS. I have around a dozen male friends and family that have been BD'd. Granted that's a small sampling of the world, but in all of those cases the WAS eventually wanted to recon. In some cases it was many years later. In no cases was it less than a year. Two of the couples did recon, the other 10 LBSs wanted to have nothing to do with their WAS when she tried to recon. They were done and had moved on. So you say you wouldn't be around for that, I say I'm not surprised. You are with the majority.
I just mention it because I really do believe that for those that want to recon, I mean really, really want it, they will probably get a chance. But you have to be exceedingly patient, and most of us just aren't. What if I told you to wait 6 months for your W? You'd do it. How about a year? Maybe. 5 years? Probably not. 10 years? No way. But it could take 10 years!
Originally Posted By: Maika
To add to Tread, do you know what type of work did he put his W through before he took her back? I have a feeling that he wasn't waiting around for her, but she came back and he saw that the R still had merit.
You are right, he absolutely was not waiting for her. He had completely moved on. He was on to a different business, living in a new place, and content with his new life. He wasn't dating or anything, he chose not to. When she started contacting him again he told me about it and I asked if he wanted to recon, and he said he didn't really care. He said he was open to it but he didn't care whether they got back together or not. He definitely wasn't wasting his days and nights pining over her, LOL! He made her do all the work, not because he was DB'ing (he doesn't even know what it is) but because he wasn't going to lift a finger to chase her after what she had done.
Now around here we advise going to IC and MC before reconciling so you can work out the issues that caused the S or D in the first place, he didn't do any of that. I'm not saying he was right not to, but now that they're back together and their walls are down they're very happy again despite not having put much effort into "patching things back up". They just reconnected and dated and decided they wanted to be together again, there really wasn't much more to it than that.
