Knowing that emotional neglect on my part contributed to the environment of the affair, should i fully ddetach, or will she percieve this as the old me creeping back in?
I think this is one of the most asked questions & concerns among newcomer LBS's. I can't help but think it's b/c the concept of DB detaching is not fully understood. We post the links, make copies and forward Peanut's shorter version of it.. but it's up to the individual to really get down and read about the definition of what it is and what is not. I think most people believe they already know what the word means.....but they don't study what we give them. IMO, I think learning the ins & outs of DB detaching is more important than the "rules", b/c if you get detaching right......you'll pretty well have most of the 37 rules covered. I would urge every newcomer to read Peanut's short version on detaching every single day, until they have it almost memorized.
If you DB detach properly, she will not see the old you creeping back in.........and partly, due to her own state of mental attitude, too. When you detach, DB style, you look attractive, interesting, and confident.
We all have potential to become a better version than we may have been in the past. Maybe that is difficult to see at the moment, but I hope you will put your all into it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
