Finding my way out of the dark - Part 4

[Holding]

I tried a little experiment last night. JoeJoe has encouraged me to smile more and make small talk with my STBXW. So in spite of how I feel about her, I decided to go with JoeJoe's recommendations. At this point, there's nothing left to lose.

She seemed a little caught off guard when she came home and I asked her how her day was. She disappeared into her room for a good while. But when she came out, she was asking about my car sitch. She asked what my plans were for the boys this weekend. And we talked about how S14 never wants to do anything but stay home.

Some other things:
- She asked "Are you okay?"
- She asked "What's wrong?"
- She stood close to me when she talked.
- She asked me if a dress looked okay on her, and I said yes. She's got a big social event she's going to tonight.
- She told me about a BBQ at her brother's house this weekend, and said I was invited, but understood if I didn't want to go.

At the end of the night, she said "Holding, I know this is a sh1tty situation we're going through, but I want you to know I'm trying to be civil and get along with you. We're going to be a part of each other's lives because of the kids, so I hope we can be friends." While she said this I made sure I wore a pleasant expression, and at the end I nodded and said thanks.

My takeaway is that she totally wants to friendzone me and cake eat. She wasn't disrespectful or nasty all night, because she's getting her way now. It is easier to be around her when she's in a good mood.

I suppose I could keep this up, but I don't really know what the point would be. It alleviates the tension in the house, but it's just a hollow charade. And I feel like I'm stifling myself by going through the motions.