When he has thoughts of the A he struggles and I don't know how to help him feel better. He doesn't tell me but I can tell because he gets too quiet and withdrawn. We sleep on same bed. How can I help on days like these?
I suggest you not smother him on these days. Let him lead in the area of affection. You may need to be more transparent on those days, and stay close to home. Don't bring up the subject, or try to get him to talk about his feelings. You can present a picture of contentment. He has to work through some of this in his own way. Keep telling yourself it will eventually pass.
To be completely honest, I am somewhat confused about how to help, b/c I'm not sure what it is you want. Your initial post made him sound bad, and very hard to live with, but then you switch and make it sound as if things are pretty good. So, I am at a loss. Maybe 25 will more helpful.
You said you don't get enough sex & physical affection. Have you read The Sexually Starved Marriage by MWD?
I keep hoping others will jump on the wagon, here, and help you out.
Is there something you are holding back?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
