Any Advice 2

[gw5263]

No I did not follow through with it. I realized that he was not the problem. It could have been anyone. If it had not been him it would have been someone else. The problem was and is us and our failures. Turning him in was purley revenge motivated and would have served no purpose in the end. All that i would have accomplished is driving my wife further away due to anger. The outcome did not justify the act. In the end, I would have gotten my wife back and ruined thirty years of work, or she would have ran to him and his life would still be in ruins.

I blamed him for the longest time, him only. I spent valuable time trying to force him to drop her,and run away. Trying to get him to have no contact through threats of exposure, any thing my desparate mind could concieve, Time i could have spent working on myself and my family. I was obsessed with making him pay for what he did.

He will have to live with what he did and continues to do, just as i would have had to live with destroying him. I know every husband would love the chance to make the OM pay, and to be honset, i wanted just that. I could have ended his career and ruined any prospects of a good job when he got kicked out. I am not judge jury and executioner. Everybody pays a price for the wrongs they commit against others. He did not hold a gun to her head and make her enter an EA with him. She went willingly. I do still hate him with all my being, i cant seem to get over that aspect, but revenge is not the answer. An old proverb said that when one seeks revenge, one should dig two graves. All revenge does in the end is sap your soul. This A has done a good job of that so why make it any worse? Sorry to those who wanted me to do it, or were living vicariouisly. It just was not in anyone involveds interest. I may be wrong or right. Time will judge me.