What to Do? 3

[chris19]

Sandi

I don't encourage giving much verbal validation to a wayward spouse, mainly b/c LBH's want to pursue and get too wordy, and the validation is often lost in all the other stuff

This defiantly makes sense the way you put it.

Anyway, when you do attempt to validate, keep validation points short and geared toward her feelings, not her actions......and not explaining about you.

Yes, understood! I do not know why I put that second sentence out there (about me being disrespected)...I let my emotions get the best of me and was acting out! Terrible for a DB'er.

My suggestion is to be careful about offering information that has not been asked from you. Know what I mean?

Yes, I do know what you mean; it acts in multiple ways to draw the WW closer or more interested. Again, I acted out of me feelings by mistake. I became angry with W that she really did not know where I was; or to put it in more true terms; her lies of not knowing where my head was at was making me upset. DONT RESPOND ON EMOTION/FEELINGS! Ah. I take some comfort in you telling me "I doubt it cause any damage".