I thought my first comment had an appropriate validation.
It's okay. Let's look at it, just so my words may make more sense.
Quote:
Me: it has been a while; and i see why you would not understand where my head is at. I am talking about (Mr.X) the OM; I am not interested in being disrespected in a relationship if another man is still involved.
I am not trying to see how critical I can be, and don't do this to pull you down. I think someone suggested some of it, and this is strictly my opinion, so take it for whatever you think it's worth. I suggest you keep yourself out of the equation. I'm not sure if you said all the above to her....or just the first sentence. I don't encourage giving much verbal validation to a wayward spouse, mainly b/c LBH's want to pursue and get too wordy, and the validation is often lost in all the other stuff. Unless you are gifted or rather skilled in art of validation, I think you could easily sound as if you are endorsing the wayward behavior....and/or kissing tail. Anyway, when you do attempt to validate, keep validation points short and geared toward her feelings, not her actions......and not explaining about you. Don't assume you know how she feels or what she's thinking. Never tell a woman how she feels.
Quote:
Me: I know what I really need is to work on is myself. So that is where I'm place my focus. I know that you dont want the M anymore due to the S and wanting a D, and telling your family it is what you wanted. So I am respecting your wishes and not applying any pressure on you.
I doubt this caused any damage, I just think this part could have been left off. If the two of you had actually sit down together to discuss it, then sure....it would have been fine as an answer to "where you are about going forward". I think it is wordy, but that JMHO. My suggestion is to be careful about offering information that has not been asked from you. Know what I mean?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
