I can understand the benefits of not pointing the finger at my W for breaking up our family, however, I can't but feel that she's getting off too easy.
Is she? In her eyes, she's been suffering silently for years and YOU were the one that was getting off too easily. She tried and tried to get your attention and you ignored her (I'm not saying you did, I'm saying this is her perception) and now that she finally got tired of your years of lack of attention and felt forced to act, you want to blame her for everything. This is one of the reasons WAW's resent their LBH's so much. The LBH thinks it's all her fault.
Look, there are good reasons so many states have gone to no-fault divorce. There are two sides to EVERY divorce story, and it's a hopeless cause trying to decide who is "right". I am in 100% agreement with Acc, blaming separation and divorce on one's spouse is not only harmful to all involved, but it prevents one from owning their own part in the demise of the M. No one ends up here on the DB forums because they were a perfect spouse!
No-one got anywhere being a "perfect spouse", because no such thing exists.And i doubt anyone actually wants to be a smiling robot that does everything 'right'.
However, not being perfect doesn't make you anywhere near equally responsible for a demise of a marriage.If one spouse is violently abusive for example, the fault is not 50/50 and the side of the abusive spouse is irrelevant.
Or if a spouse was never faithful to begin with, cheated in every relationship they ever had, and married you under false pretenses, again not 50/50.
