On the trust issue, her position seems to be that I've been keeping secrets from her by not telling her where I'm going and who I'm with.
And that is her business because ___________. (fill in the blank) How dare you get a life!
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She came in the MBR and this time laid on the bed where she used to sleep. She rolled on her side and faced me. She asked if I had anything I wanted to talk about. I told her I thought she wanted to talk; I didn't really have much to bring up, but was open to letting her take the lead.
She asked when I thought we could do mediation.
Well there you go. If you thought yesterday was anything other than a temp check, that should answer that! How sweet of her to try and bait you into talking first, I'm sure what she was hoping was for you to say "I just want to say I still love you and will wait for you forever and ever" so that she could get a little more mileage out of sticking that knife between your ribs. Why just stick it straight in when you can twist it like a corkscrew?
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I told her, probably in the middle of next month. She said she was hoping we could do it sooner.
Awww, the S train just can't move fast enough for her!
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She asked how I would feel if she moved out. I told her she could if she wanted to. She said the tension in the house between us has been very uncomfortable for her, until the conversation we had the night before. I agreed. I think she was expecting me to try to talk her out of it.
All your responses to her were spot on. Nicely done! That is exactly what you needed to do. Open the cage door. You don't push her out, you just open the door. If she wants to leave then that's her right and you will respect her decision.
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She told me I've done nothing in the past 3 months to show her that I wanted our R. She said I've been distant and cold.
This is in the WAS handbook. Page 172, paragraph 3. The instructions state "use the following line as a method to deflect blame from you to your LBH and keep him off balance. Say it as angrily as possible for maximum effect. If he cries and asks for a tissue, tell him to use his sleeve."
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I said she is the one who filed, she is the one who's lawyer is moving the case forward. I said I've seen no signs from her that she's not 100% full-steam ahead on this.
We just both paused for a minute. Then she said she was going to put in an offer on a house, and she wanted to know if I'd be willing to sign a paper saying I wouldn't try to claim the house if it closes before the D is final.
I mean WOW. No rebuttal at all to your comments that she's the one moving things forward, LOL! And she follows that up with a request for you to sign away rights!! She needs to go back to the WAS handbook, she totally missed the part where she's supposed to soften you up first with carrots such as "maybe things will work out in the future, this is just temporary" and perhaps some gratuitous sex.
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I told her I needed to think about this and talk to my L. I asked if she was planning on using her retirement funds to help with the purchase of the house, and she said I needed to talk to my L about that.
Good response again. Given her attitude I'm not sure I would bother talking to your L, just tell her no, you can't sign the paper. If she wants to buy a house she can wait until the D is finalized. You can't stop the D but that doesn't mean you need to make yourself a doormat either.
