How do I get things right?

[Lovelyp]

What can you do to stop the emotional punches between you and H? You can take a big 180 degree here.

Yes 180 works. So far what works is just detaching, keeping myself busy, not initiating conersations and avoiding chats works. I would also not initiate ML. I noticed when I started the 180 he starts to pursue me, is nice and in the past week or so he is communicating well and doing everythi g to try to meet my needs. He starts to play my favourite programs and watch with me peacefully and enjoying.

Thanks for being honest and revealing more. Has there been other painful areas in the MR?

The problems we have had before are related to this. He communicates with women but I trust him completely. I have even seen some women making advances to him and he is not interested in anything sexual. He has strict boundaries and is always suspicious of women. I just feel disrespected because most times these women start behaving funny around me. Some end up disappointed and understands that he is happy with me and start being respectful and communicating more with me.

When we went for MC he mentioned the following issues:
1.i disrespect him.
2.I'm not honest - related to the A. I told him when we started working together with the OM but when it got to the A or ONS I got quiet.
3.I don't allow him to lead.
4. I nag a lot and say bad things that make him less confident as a husband
5. I neglect household duties- my work hours more flexible but I don't do house chores
6. I don't like his friends
7. He says I have too much pride and I am unwilling to compromise
8. I don't put boundaries in my interaction with men. He says when we were dating I only had male friends and no female friends so I had the ONS because I get too comfortable around men and share things that make me vulnerable.
9. I don't take marriage seriously and behave like I'm still dating


Issues I raised:
1. He is not affectionate
2. He stonewalls a lot. He bottles his feelings only to explode and say many bad things
3. No non sexual intimacy
4. He ignores my feelings when he has female friends.
5. He rarely initiates ML



[quotes=sandi2]
When he flirts with other women, what type of reaction does he see in you?
[/quote]
I used to nag about it. Now when he talks to OW I ignore him and avoid talking to him about it.