WW last night sent me a Whatsapp photo of a parents evening appointment coming up and text me to say she’d done it, I DR’ing never responded to the text.
The DB'ing approach is to not -initiate- contact, but if she sends you a message, especially regarding the kids, it's fine to reply.
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Anyway I stated the time and realised WW would be away with AP/LO on their romantic 4-night's away which she keeps reminding me of.
Park, I've noticed that whenever you refer to something your W is doing with OM it's always couched in terms like that. Why would you describe it as "romantic"? Why wouldn't you just say "they'll be out of town then"? I just sense a lot of jealousy and anger on your part regarding OM, which I get, but I don't think you're serving yourself well by romanticizing her activities with OM. Try to think and talk about it like it's some mundane task, not a party on a beach somewhere with fruity drinks with tiny umbrellas in them.
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I thought I overheard her mention to S8 that she is now Miss maiden name and no longer Mrs my name. This amazes me as she didn’t want to have a different name to those of her children, what does this say about her mind set now?
Has nothing to do with the kids, she is done with YOU. That's what that says. Maybe that'll change some day but for now that's where she is.
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I again have a niggling feeling that the detachment I’m so much better at is counter-productive in my situation. Does anybody feel that due to us BS detaching the WS gives up hope for RC and instead spends more energies trying to make a success of the A and see it as their only solution..?
Well first of all you've never really detached. You come here talking proudly about dropping the rope while behind your back where you think no one can see you've got a deathgrip on it. That's normal, we all did it. But the sooner you realize you're doing it, the sooner you can get about the business of truly DB'ing.
Second of all, please accept that your W is 100% done with you right now. There is no chance of recon anytime soon. She is not sitting there thinking "wow, look at Park getting a life, I guess there's no chance with him so now I suppose I'm stuck with OM." You are not even on her radar except as a nuisance she has to deal with because you share kids together. I hate to be so blunt but your biggest struggle right now is YOU. You cannot seem to let go of her, and it's preventing you from getting where you need to go. A year from now who knows, maybe she'll be open to recon. But for now it's over and you've got to accept that and go about putting your life in order.
