Limerence and My Situation 4

[Rose888]

You have spent more time attached than detached. And your wife continued to deepen the affair while you were attached too.

You could DB perfectly and your wife wouldn't necessarily return. There are no guarantees. I wouldn't evaluate your approach based on whether your wife ends the affair. Think smaller. Are your interactions smoother? Do you feel happier than you did? Do you feel better about the example you are setting for your kids.

DB is about giving your M the best chance of success, but your wife still has choice.

And it's not uncommon for people's opinions on names to change. If I had to do it over again, I would keep my maiden name, and it's not a reflection of my feelings for my kids (or my spouse).