25yearsMLC 10 Later I FILE D part 7

[25yearsmlc]

Just wanted to start a new thread

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2759807#Post2759807

Staying more forward focussed and will post as a journal and pose questions to DB land for your thoughts.

At this point, I'm coming up with numbers for h, as he says he wants to settle. H did not think he owed arrears b/c he did not think he should.

He believed, OR says he does, that the judge should not have imputed income to him just b/c he had a well paying job...

and h says he 'retired" from that job. We have evidence that 1) he kept working and 2) even if he stopped,

the law in CA says you cannot willfully underwork when you have a marketable skill

and you cannot 'retire' merely to avoid a court ruling, which is precisely what he told 2 of our children and yes they will testify.

That's very gross as a family event. So For ME, emotionally I'd want to settle and I assume h wants to for whatever his reasons are.

I'm adding up numbers I had not thought of before, like my T who my insurance won't cover and the life ins I want to have on H that i DID have but which he cancelled

I will add up all these things that are my expenses, some of which are things he should


when he listed d20's college tuition after cutting her off (in writing) I did not burst into flames.

So, dealing with HIS income/expenses is hard to do without screaming or laughing and mostly I choose laughing.

INPUT welcome as to suggestions on these matters (Income and expenses you have to list for the court. I hope they care about accuracy b/c I do and H does not).

What will the judge say when she sees H claiming $16k A MONTH for expenses including her college, when the judge sees the letter TO D20 FROM H cutting her off?

And the the package sent to the school showing our efforts to help d20 and her brother managing to argue the case that "h is gone from our lives" so his income is irrelevant and here is our evidence.

Again - the college granted 90% of s31's appeal, so we got a great gift (S31 is my hero)

but for h to claim it......wow...




2) a nice guy I'm not wild about physically ,but enjoy the company of, wants to date.

Good news, I am ready to date but not sure what else. I'm thinking my dating radar needs tuning fast.

I am largely looking forward in my days now. Backslides will come with the divorce numbers but there is an end that MIGHT be in sight. I could see H pulling out at the last minute. I don't know the man I knew so well....

maybe the 1 year mark is pushing me some and maybe settling this finally is too.

And I feel safer looking for work without thinking my h is hovering over my shoulder either gleefully saying 25 earns that much?? Cut spousal support by half!!!"

OR "is that all you'll earn?" (Sniff sniff) He should not be a factor I know. But after 35 years he still is.

But less of one every day.