During our talk the other night, she asked me to sleep on the couch on Fridays so she could sleep in bed and I would not wake her. I nicely pointed out that she can sleep in bed anytime she wants. Her response was "why would I want to be with someone who wont sleep on the couch so I can get more sleep since I am only getting 4 hours of sleep per night."
You were right to stick to your guns on that. She was trying to emotionally blackmail you, good job in not falling for it! Just keep emphasizing that she's welcome to sleep in the bed with you or sleep on the couch, her choice.
Originally Posted By: Tate
I am having a difficult time deciding when to be scarce around my W and when to validate.
You want to be scarce whenever possible. You only validate when she shares her feelings. A lot of people don't get that, they think they're supposed to validate EVERYTHING a WAS says but that's not the case. If she says she's angry or frustrated or sad then that's an expression of feelings and that is what you validate. Hope that makes sense.
My sister called me today. She was in complete denial that her husband and my W are acting innappropriately.
I ended up sending her the text meamt for my BIL that my W sent me by accident. I havent heatd from my sister yet, but its pretty obvious something is going on.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
My W called me at 4 pm to demand I skip the gym tonight to stay home eith the kids so she can catch up at work. I will do it this rime for the kids, but I really dont like how she demands things like this. After all, it is her choice to start graduate school so she has no time for anything else.
Along the same lines, I am not sure how to handle her grad school...she started eithout even mentioning it to me. Now, she has no free time, gets no sleep, is absolutely horrible to be around, and is spending our money for school. Any advice?
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
The advice is that start telling your W no. Right now you and the W are not in a good place. So if she is spending money without you two agreeing, then stop it if possible. If your W is being nasty and making demands, then just tell her no. After realizing that bullying you won't work. She will realize that a nicer approach is necessary.
Thanks for the support. The only reason I am staying home with the kids tonight is she dropped them off and went back to work. I did not want the kids watching tv all night until she comes home...
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
This weekend is a typical situation. My W is taking the kids out of town to her sisters. I had olanned on finishing up sone repairs on my car.
I can stay home and finish the repairs, or I can ditch the repairs and go. One of her complaints in the past was that I would stay home and work on things instead of going out of town with her and the kids. Problem is that she goes out of town every weekend she can. If I go every weekend, I do not have enough time to get everything done. The silution would be to have her do some of the projects...but she just does not do them.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
