Finding my way out of the dark - Part 4

[Accuray]

holding -- interesting!

Remember to believe none of what they say and only 50% of what they do.

You might be tempted to view this situation that W has dangled a carrot and if you respond "the right way" you can reconcile.

I would avoid that way of looking at things at all costs.

YOU ARE THE PRIZE TO BE WON.

If there's going to be a reconciliation, it is SHE who has to prove to you that she wants it, because she is the one that strayed. You don't have to prove that you're committed. I would take her smarmy "that's what I needed to know" comment and completely ignore it.

I'm not suggesting a Mexican standoff here where neither party will make the first move, but often the WAS will want to keep you on the shelf as an insurance policy, everything feels safer if they have the option to return.

When they begin to sense that you're no longer waiting on the shelf and may no longer be available, they panic, and will manipulate you into thinking you have a chance of reconciliation, and as soon as you come back to the table they will distance again.

I suspect that this is what your wife is doing -- she's uncomfortable with the fact that you've been distancing, she doesn't like it at all, so she's trying to tease you back to the waiting area. Don't fall for it. If anything, keep distancing, keep going out and having fun. Be the man you want to be and keep her off of your emotional radar!

Do you really believe "she kept getting hit on by all these guys" on Facebook or do you think she was saying that to manipulate you?

I obviously know tons of women on FB and despite many of them being very attractive, none of them are constantly being hit on by "all these guys". There are a million dating apps for that.

I would say you're best bet is to limit what you reveal about yourself and your state of mind in these conversations. Listen and validate but don't volunteer much. The more she wonders what you're up to and how you're feeling the better.

Acc