Now go away or I will taunt you a second time

[Sotto]

I think the wisest thing would be to look at this in stages. You have had a stage of not being in contact or just occasional contact for a good while.

What may be happening now is a stage where you may be in touch some more and he wants to spend some time with you and with the girls. And that's fine if it works for you.

But I would make this stage 'potential friends again' only and I would make it a good long stage - a year? During this period, you could be in touch more and see how you feel about it. How he seems. How consistent is the progress and so on.

But during this stage, I would take any thought of romance off the table. You are not in touch as romantic partners and it would be too soon to consider doing that (IMHO). If he wants to ask about 'us' you could reply - it's good to be in touch again, as for more than that, I would need some more time - or whatever similar reply works for you.

The next stage - if at all - might be to reconnect romantically. But there's no need for you even to think about this (or put any pressure on yourself - or him) at this stage, because this isn't that stage. I'm not saying any of that would be easy - and you would need a clear head, cool heart and strong focus on your life independent to him - but I think it would be wise.

I agree about the anger and the racism - neither are great behaviours to be around - and you may want to be clear about that from the outset.

Hope this helps a little anyway and I think you are doing well. Goodness knows how I would cope if my ex wanted us to be in touch again

Xx