Ive just been taking turns sleeping with one of the kids. So, detaching myself from her all of a sudden got super easy because I no longer want anything to do with her.
Is that right? So a few weeks ago you were this:
"I instantly turned in to Super Husband! I talked with my work and was given weekends off to spend with my family, I finished all of the unfinished projects around the house, I cleaned everything, was over attentive to her which she pulled away from. She told me that she needed me to be like that 2 years ago and that she needs space. I was a roller coaster for the next 3-4 weeks which made things worse. I wrote her heart felt letters and pleaded for forgiveness one day and then the next day would be upset and a mess."
And now you could care less and want nothing to do with her. DO NOT TRUST YOUR FEELINGS RIGHT NOW. You are all over the place, and you will be for quite some time. Don't say or do anything rash, just keep your mouth shut, give your W time and space and work on yourself. You've just barely started your journey. You're running a marathon and you've only taken the first 2 or 3 steps. Try to model consistent behavior, bouncing around from one extreme to another is sending all the wrong signals to everyone involved including your kids. And by the way, sleep in the MBR. Why are you sleeping with the kids. Keep some control over your life!
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I'm basically just living rent free and getting my kids 100% of the time. If she files than I'll be perfectly fine with it but until then I'm fine with my current situation. Granted its only been a week and I've flip flopped before when I didnt think I could but this is the first time I've felt this way.
A week isn't nearly enough time for you to know anything about how you feel. A lot of people have a similar "moment" where very early in their sitch they think they've got it all under control and they are fine, but it's rarely the case. Your emotions are going to range a lot, just try to be prepared for it.
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At this point, even if she came back to me, I dont think any amount of counseling could save the marriage.
Frankly I think you are fooling yourself into thinking you are OK with your M being over.
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She does have a lot of built up anger towards me and it doesn't take much for her to snap at me for the tiniest little thing but I just laugh it off and carry on.
If you really are laughing that off then I think that's a 180 you need to work on. Laughing at an angry outburst from someone else is usually just a technique to escalate the fight.
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It's hard to tell what the kids notice and that is my concern about continuing on like this for very long.
Well the kids want their parents together, so if you are concerned about them, S or D are definitely not "better" options in their eyes.
