OK, gotcha. So you started over with someone new and now she's BD'd, says she was depressed and unhappy? Did she say why?
Yes, exactly. I went into a new relationship and it started out like gang busters. We fell hard for each other and it progressed quickly. We were combing families and moving in within months. We had a breakup, that lasted 2 days, where she went to stay with her parents about a year ago. Her issue was that I was sarcastic and I had to debate every word she said. We went to counseling for a bit, and I personally feel that I made good strides in my habit of debating. I'm still a little sarcastic tho, and so is she. She also has issue with my parenting structure. She likes things on flowcharts and reference boards, Bedtime routines by the book, with no variances. She likes to "sound" very structured. In reality, shes is as scattered as I am. She just cherry picks areas she likes. That's it. That's what we had going on. In the medium, we LAUGHED a lot, hugged constantly. we did family things, we worked together, we shared, we co-parented together, and her smile and up beat personality shined 24/7. So, I didn't really get her messages, or at least the severity
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This doesn't seem to add up, how could you have been so happy and she was depressed and miserable?
I've asked myself this a million times. I simply did not see her unhappy a lot. She verbalized it to me, perhaps 3 times in 3 years, and it was short lived. She would immediately go back to her happy go lucky normal routine, and I would think I had to start making some tiny adjustment, which I HAVE. I know I have. She became picky about some of my habits, like I clench lips when I pet our dogs. It drives her nuts. The last few weeks, shes been visibly down. Partially because She lost her career a few months ago. It was in industry that she absolutely loved. It closed down, so there was no hope of continuing. She missed the people who she worked with and her students. It was a position made for her upbeat personality. With that being said, she is very financially independent, so that brought her down even more. I should have done more financially for her, but I was covering all the bills I was able. I did make a foolish purchase of go karts for our kids, and she told me that was the final thought for making her decision to leave. She just doesn't feel that I LISTEN to her, and I will own that 100% I needed to be more emotionally supportive. Flash back a couple weeks to her bumping into her ex, and texting/face timing him. When she approached me on BD the wheels just absolutely fell off. Her demeanor towards me, which is usually loving and playful flipped a switch. She hit me with ILYBNILWY, you don't make me happy. I don't feel you could ever make me happy, and I don't want to try".......That was 8 days ago. They are putting a rental deposit down on a house nearby, and he will be moving here soon. We've already broke it to our kids, and she has moved 90% of her belongings out of the home. That's my sitch. She's a beaut, Clark!
