I had an interesting conversation with my wife last night. We haven't talked (outside of talking about our son) in weeks, and last night she messaged me and started talking about how she would like to be move civil with me, apologized for some of the harsh and nasty things she had said in the past, and then asked if I would video chat with her (just me, not to talk to our son). I was busy at the moment but we scheduled a time a few hours later.
That's a really big baby step!! Keep in mind that recon doesn't happen in one big move, it happens in a lot of little moves. So this is a great first step. Brush up on validation (read the validation sticky) and practice being a great listener/ validator.
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and that she feels she has matured
Yeah, well I imagine she still has a LONG way to go on that front.
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She doesn't want to get back together with me, she just wants the ability to have a civil divorce and to see our son again.
That's how she feels NOW, but that could change.
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we didn't come to any resolutions, it was mostly me listening and her talking.
That's perfect. You shouldn't be trying to resolve anything, just listen and validate.
But we have both agreed to be civil, so that's good progress on that front at least.
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As for her seeing him, I don't know how it is going to work, he can't go see her as she doesn't have a job or the ability to support him at all, and she can't really come to Colorado for the same reason (I can't afford to pay for her to visit)
That is her problem, and remember, you are not around to fix her problems. If she gripes about that or any other problem, just listen and validate. Don't try to fix it for her, she doesn't want you to.
