I am so Broken I didn't realize how bad things are with me because going what we going through makes us feel unworthy like example I know I lost tons of weight did my hair different purchase new cloths but did I really did it for me or to see if W notice.
That's OK, if we're honest with ourselves we ALL do it at first to get a reaction from our spouses. Just keep working at it, eventually you'll do it for yourself.
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Because then I think wow if I was in accident and couldn't walk or got a skin disease something out of control would W left me any way.
Exactly. Makes you wonder, if she's willing to leave you when things aren't so bad then what would she do if things took a tragic turn.
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I know I am just going through a emotional rollercoaster right now, but also realizing my worthiness
Good, because you DO have a ton of value, and finding that again is important to your recovery.
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Can I really forgive W if big if she does ask to come Back. Can LOVE really conquer all. Honestly at this moment I have to say No. Love can't fix what W broke but destroy and If was only me maybe a big maybe but she has put and said pretty nasty things to our kids and me when she we lived together.
After BD we're all very consumed with putting things "back to normal". But at some point we come to the realization that our old "normal" is never coming back. Even if we reconcile, we're looking at a completely different relationship even if with the same person. And we've got to ask ourselves- are we willing to recon with that person that was willing to walk out? I mean yes, we were not perfect and we need to own our contributions to the failure of the M. But WE are not the ones that walked out. WE were willing to stick it out and make it work even though there were problems. WE were committed. Can we say that about the WAS? And if not, how does that bode for a future with them? What's to say they won't turn around and do the same thing in 6 months or a year? It's a very valid concern, and you've got to think long and hard about it.
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Would love to hear from anyone that has gone through these feelings. Can you really forgive your W/H without getting angry and throwing it in there face. ????
Yes. I never went through an anger phase with my XW. It's supposed to be a normal phase of grief recovery, but I never did get angry with her. I had a lot of sympathy for what she was going through. Even though it was very rough on me, I knew it was no picnic for her either. I do forgive her for it and harbor no ill will at all towards her. I mean I -could- resent her, financially we were in fantastic shape and poised to comfortably retire together before 60 and now my finances are in a shambles and I don't think I'll ever retire. But that's life, just when you think you have it all planned out life throws you a nasty curve ball that hits you in the gut as you swing the bat at empty air, LOL! You can get angry and pout and mope about it, or you can say "screw it, I'll make the best with what I'm given."
