After returning home, I thought about what she said a little bit, and realized two things. 1) She is worried it would upset W if she came to dinner with me, but doesn't really care that I might have become upset when she had drinks with W last week?
Well it is different, because she is a woman and you're a man so she is no doubt concerned your W may think there's some romantic connection happening there even if your intentions are pure. Obviously there is not the same risk with her having drinks with your W, it's just two same-sex friends hanging out.
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and 2) Does that mean W would be upset if I was entertaining friends?
Look at it this way. You have a good friend that breaks up with his wife and you are friends with both of them. His wife stops by your house to drop off a book and asks you to dinner. Would you go? Surely in your mind you would be thinking "no I can't do that, my buddy might think I'm trying to move in on his W". You would think that EVEN IF YOU HAD DRINKS WITH HIM THE WEEK BEFORE, right? I don't see anything here to be angry about, your friend is just trying to keep the peace with both of you, I think she's doing the right thing.
