There is really no telling. You're dealing with a WAH and ANYTHING could come out of his mouth. Just remember Sandi's rules, especially "Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because he/she is hurting and scared." Just let him talk and you listen. No matter what he says, no matter how crazy it sounds, just listen and validate (read the sticky on validation). Try to keep in mind tht whatever he tells you is how he feels right now and is subject to change even if he says it's not. You've already decided you are keeping the baby, so your boundary should be that you will NOT allow any discussion to the contrary. If he goes there then just shut him down and tell him that's not an option and not open to discussion.
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I don't feel like I have anything to say, its up to him if he plays a role with the baby and how much. But at the same time, given his extensive lies I cannot believe anything he says, so it feels like this talk is pointless. But I will still listen to what he has to say.
Good. Yes you are exactly right, whatever comes out of his mouth right now is practically worthless. Just listen and validate, that's really the only purpose of the talk.
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He still hasn't told this OW that he has now moved in with, that I am pregnant, not sure how he plans to hide it. But that is his problem. I did consider whether I should say something to her, but it is not my business or my responsibility to inform her.
Great! I agree. She'll figure it out anyway, and won't that be a rude slap in the face that he didn't tell her. If you tell her she will resent you, but if you don't tell her and she finds out by seeing your growing belly or some other way then she will resent HIM.
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I have my 12 week scan next week which I hope will go well so that I can relax a bit and try to enjoy my pregnancy.
Good luck! Very sorry you find yourself in this situation, but it sounds like you are being very clear-headed about it so that's a great sign! You're doing great!
