A fresh start? (probably not!)

[CW2017]

Hi 25yearsmlc
sorry for the delay in replying. And can I just say what a marvellous insight on your part. Just thought I would clarify a couple of points. The only period of time where I "might" have dropped the ball rearding any degree of neglect would have been the "depression years" ('10-'16, beginning with the treble hit of father passing/no job/becoming a first time father in my late 40s, although I should state I was not depressed for the whole of the time, but not having the right job for my previous experience did not help in the latter stages). During the other periods of time where there was no sexual intimacy we were still exceedingly close (telling each other we loved each other multiple times every single day, my complimenting her on her looks/figure, etc. on a continual basis). Looking back I guess I was just incredibly patient and "respectful" (at one point she did say "I was such a patient guy" in a non-patronising way about waiting for her to be ready for that sort of initimacy. Guess I was just used to these rare episodes (e.g. once in a 2 week Caribbean honeymoon). So in essence we have always been "all over each other" but with no outcome in the bedroom.

However, this year has been a revelation. The sex accelerated after BD (I found out it was initially to stop me from being suspicious) then again after I finally found out what she needed "during" and this has been the case ever since (she is continually tired from work so once a week is quite a step forward believe me and I guess it becomes more of an occasion that way). So the bedroom situation is, in a way, perfect now. That was also discussed during the MC sessions so there is no ambiguity there. However, I accept there could be other reasons for our increased activity but at the very least she is getting her needs met in that department so the "passion" element is definitely there now.

In the GAL department, since BD my running activities have accelerated (exclude the obvious pun) and I currently try and fit in 3 X 30 min a week. I have also recently joined the gym at work and now hit the weights hard. My improved physique this year has certainly be noticed by the W so that has to be a positive. On your question of what you think would happen to her if we D'd, I think she would cave in (not that I wouldn't of course) in fact after our big confrontation she said she probably wouldn't sleep that night. An interesting point by yorself about why he wouldn't leave his wife. From what I know of him, despite his reciprocated feelings and actions he is from a "higher class" (the ridiculous system we have in the UK), he has had major house improvements, etc. so I am reckoning they are perfectly (oppositely) matched for an affair, but at the same time if he green lighted both of them leaving their partners that would be a different matter of course.

I have never been insecure in that sense (yet a lot of my friends and colleagues over the years seem to suffer from this) and despite a few tempting offers over the last 27 years I have never succumbed (even when intoxicated). So I guess that's just me (and I accept that my moral compass may not be shared by anyone else).

Thank you again