JMSTL thread-Part 5-What a beautiful GAL

[Jmstl]

I mentioned that I thought she and I would be in a better place in 10 months, and she responded "I'm not too sure about that".

What are you trying to do when you insert these type of statements to her?

The reason I ask is b/c I see LBH's do this a lot. It's like a promoter trying to get his plug in every chance he gets....or a salesman's pressuring technique......and it is a huge turnoff.

In cases with a WW, you should be the one saying you "aren't too sure you'll be in a better place in 10 months".....instead of her saying it. As long as you are telling her things similar, she is going to be determined to prove you wrong! Don't you get it? You are pursuing and putting pressure on her when you say this stuff.

If this is the hill you want to die on....then don't shoot yourself in the foot by suggesting you'll be in a good enough place to share a vacation with her family in 10 months. That was certainly not the time! Frankly, I think it is in poor taste to plan on going on a vacation with your in-laws, when you are ready to go to war over these type of issues. At least, keep it to yourself.


I am not saying you should or should not have called her out. I'm saying when you call her out, you need to present a figure who stands on principle. In this case, maintain a business style approach. If she brings up other things, keep to the subject at hand. To suggest you would be in a better place in 10 months to join in on a family vacation....takes away the the spot light on why you called her out. Her attention is on proving you wrong about the trip. See what I mean?

Sandi, when I said that, I presented it in a business like manner. In that I did not want to go because of her. I only wanted to go because of my kids, and there is no reason we can't get along well enough to give them a good family vacation. My daughter is the one that wants me to go. I did not say it as in we would have a better realtionship.

I did not bring up not going on the vacation. Just last week she was encouraging me to go. Once again she flip flopped, likely because I put my foot down on her behavior.

Additionally, I am done trying to save the marriage, and I am actively looking forward to the divorce now.

She stated previously that therapy would show that she was not the person for me. She proved that one right with her attitude and disrespect.I deserve better.