I don't see your behavior in the present as the main problem in the m.
I completely agree. Your H has a lot of insecurities and seems to stand in need of relationship skills.
If he uses your ONS as his excuse for inappropriate behavior with other women, he will use the same excuse to find new ways to cause you pain. If he does not have the tools in order to process and go forward in a healthy way, there's that possibility his behavior toward you will get worse.
When he is lashing out at you, how do you usually react to him?
When you are in public together, does he show disrespectful or inappropriate behavior toward you?
I'm glad you had a good night. IMO, I think he will go just so far doing things for your feelings, before he rebels b/c of his own pain. Your needs and feelings are important, and he looks at his needs just as importantly.
The male ego is very fragile, and his inappropriate behavior with other women could be two-fold. It feeds his ego and it hurts you. Both of you suffer, so.......what can be done? Hopefully, we can help offer a few ideas for problem solving solutions.
The ONS took place over a year ago. Why no MC during that time, when you say he would go if you asked?
What type of attitude do you have around him when he is saqys angry things at you? Are you the long suffering W? Do you feel you deserve to be punished? Do you get angry at him, and if so......how does it show?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
