As long as you keep you mouth shut abiut the A your W will continue and not complain. Of course your sitch won't get better, because she will continue to not respect you. Just don't bring up the relationship. But I assuming the A is your boundary. So at some point you will have to do something about that.
And yes your W is cake eating. Benefits of being around her family keeping that image up, while having OM to supply her needs. At this point your a roommate who happens to be the father of her children. I Know that is hard to hear, but trust me I can relate. You detach by staying away from her as best as possible. Going to the store together is good on occasion. But don't make it a habit.
Your W needs to experience some loss. And that loss could be the happiness of your children seeing you all do things together as a family as a start. Sounds harsh, It is harsh.
i think the loss can be the risk of losing you
You need to act AS IF LOSING YOU IS A REAL POSSIBILITY
Might it be better if GW really GAL and becomes attached & involved with it, not his w.
Let the loss be by seeing you, GW making it clear that he is considering dating and there seem to be a plethora of candidates. Create Some Mystery!
but that is the reality of what your W needs to start facing.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
