Sara, I'm married to someone very similar to yours. I hope it goes well. It would be helpful if he agrees it is time and he wants it too. As you know with narcissists, there is no limit to what they will do to try to maintain control. My lawyer suggested trying to agree on a financial mediator (my kids are older and he has largely abandoned them) since custody is not an issue. I knew mine would cut bait and run from the beginning (he was already emotionally detached from the kids and it is what his own dad did) so I told him from the get go that he could see the kids whenever he wanted. My D is in her first year of college across the country so the only issue is my HS freshman son. H sees him maybe 4 hours a month but several months hasn't seen him at all.
I still have to deal with games over trying to control money, but for the most part he leaves me alone. You seem like a strong woman and I bet your H is a little intimidated and afraid of you as mine is. I think this helps stop him from behaving worse.
