As long as you keep you mouth shut abiut the A your W will continue and not complain. Of course your sitch won't get better, because she will continue to not respect you. Just don't bring up the relationship. But I assuming the A is your boundary. So at some point you will have to do something about that.
And yes your W is cake eating. Benefits of being around her family keeping that image up, while having OM to supply her needs. At this point your a roommate who happens to be the father of her children. I Know that is hard to hear, but trust me I can relate. You detach by staying away from her as best as possible. Going to the store together is good on occasion. But don't make it a habit.
Your W needs to experience some loss. And that loss could be the happiness of your children seeing you all do things together as a family as a start. Sounds harsh, but that is the reality of what your W needs to start facing.
