Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 10

[PsySara]

Thanks guys, this weekend was enlightening. I found I just don't have it in me anymore. On the way home WH did a really petty thing, he only filled the family van's gas tank half way because he feels our nanny shouldn't be doing "extra trips" ie., her own shopping and stuff while just with the baby. I've never had a problem with this before and I don't think it's worth losing a really good child care provider. We are wealthy people and she is not, if she wants to run a few trips during the day then I have no problem with it. I told him to turn around and I would fill it all the way up and I did. At the last second WH said, "Fine, you're in charge of filling of the van for now on." I just looked at him and shook my head. I then said, "We need to talk tonight." He agreed.

So tonight's the night. I am letting him know I've consulted a lawyer and will be paying my retainer and filing as soon as they paperwork is ready. I've turned every stone and been extremely patient. This gives him a chance to get how own lawyer and we can sit down and start working through the financials and stuff. He is still the wayward, narcissistic guy who cheated on me and I don't see him changing anytime soon. So I need to do this to protect myself and really start healing. Because one thing is clear, one cannot heal when living with a remorseless cheater, it's just rug sweeping at this point.

I plan on keeping this matter-of-fact and business like. I don't care to argue or try to "make him understand" the whys. He knows the whys and if he doesn't then that's my answer. I can't force him to feel empathy or be caring person, I can just make sure I emulate this for my children and hope for the best. A small part of me is nervous but another part of me is completely and utterly exhausted. I'm just done. I'm walking away.