Now I want forgive and deal with all anger resentment so I can see how things go.
Its difficult to work out a M when you hold on to the past pain.
Maybe that is why many marriage vows include the words "From this day forward".
You BOTH must let go of that or you will not move forward. You can't move forward if you are looking backwards.
Forgiveness is a learned skill imo. How was forgiveness modeled in your childhood?
And in your h's?
Also his "reasoning" about flirting with OW's is just self serving justification of inappropriate behavior on his part. It is saying he still feels insecure so he gets to hurt you b/c that is how he gets on a level playing field.
Which means he does not know how to lift himself AND OR he wants to hurt or control you.
How long does he think he gets to punish you (b/c that is exactly what it is)?
it's a lot of emotional abuse to endure. And if this is who he is, then you have a lot to think about. Life is short Lovelyp.
So he met your needs for an evening. Good.
The "math" of this is consistent change + sufficient time = change to believe in.
maybe you can do 30 day chunks of time before monitoring for a change. I am putting the focus on HIS behavior more than yours.
I don't see your behavior in the present as the main problem in the m. Do you?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
