Trying to "wake her up" with an insult (yes telling her to "get her head out of her ass" IS insulting.) And it is not going to help.
Irish, sometimes we bang our heads against the wall, and sometimes we don't.
Sometimes You really GAL and I'm impressed with your parenting. Really. I just don't think this was your finest hour and I don't want to see you spiral or hurt the few efforts your w makes.
I don't agree with your choice not to attend the FIL's funeral, but that's not my choice. I get that! We can agree to disagree.
Back to the email - If your only responsibility is to send your w an email to comply with the court, nothing else you said after informing her of the trip was needed. So what if she says she does not want to hear from you? (You don't have to open her emails either. You have choices.)
Why is it okay for her to say hurtful things to you? It's not. I did not say it was. The dynamic between you in that email exchange was simply not a healthy one.
No you don't need to keep the road home to You paved/smooth. It's just a DB tenet my DB coach gave me. I assume it can be applied to the r's with the children and their parents. Why not do that?
My guess is that a belated mediocre relationship between them, is better than what exists now.
No, I do not think you can wake her up. Maybe time will.
As for You saying you "don't accept her plan" for a later r with the girls.... Look, I know this is hard to hear, but It's not yours to accept. It's not a triangle R anymore if it ever was.
It's a 2 way r between them and their mom. Believe me, I've struggled as the middleman in that dynamic and one upside to the divorce (and that's a hard thing to say) is that I don't need to anymore. H is on his own. I sure won't hinder any efforts he makes, if he does. And I do not bad mouth him. I also counter the kids' negatives about h with "he's still your dad and always will be." And when pressed I mention his work ethic and intelligence and a wealth of knowledge.
I don't have to add in that I confused those^^ traits with his having character.
As I said, you are renting her a lot of space...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
