24 Mths in..I gotta whole lot of living to do now

[Irish M]

wow.
just WOW. so you think OM instigated the contact from the woman from 12 years ago? or eew did because she now knows these people through OM?

Hi Bttrfly.
no clue.. it just felt off so better avoid. OM is from the same town as this woman's husband so it makes it very weird.

My prayer for you mon ami is that you find a way to extricate yourself from being in the middle, advocating for what you think the relationship should be with the girls and eew. Eew fired you from that job.

Yes I know I was fired. She didnt fire me from being a protective dad and wanting the girls to have a healthy relationship with their mom. It doesn't mean I can't want to best for them. I feel and hear their struggle dealing with their mom or lack of her. From morning talks about nightmares they have to the fear they share about having the same DNA as her. They continuously ask if they will repeat this as she and the grandmother both did it.

. you have 2 options.

1- block my emails or send them to spam. I don't care. I just need proof i sent them, no proof needed that you read them. You can't prevent me from going or them. It is only to advise you.

2- Simply reply thanks.

I don't accept your plan of waiting until they are 30 and maybe by then they will reach out. The girls deserve more from you. They won't accept anything less. Have a good day

Get your head out of your a$$ and start being the mom you once were. Not for me but for them.

Irish,
If the law requires you to inform her, that's all that was needed. The rest of this^^^ is you saying hurtful things to a woman who is keenly aware that her r's with her kids is bad.

Hi 25yrs

My points were to merely point out to her that she has no choice to receive these emails from me until the girls are 18.

Choice 1 was giving her the option to forward them to spam. I need to send them. Her saying she doesn't want them is too bad for her. i am obeying the law here.

Choice 2 was she can just reply thank you. I don't need a reply. Her comment is hurtful. Why is it ok for her to always say hurtful things to me.

not sure where you see that I was mean to her. Telling her like it is. Too bad if it stings her.
How do you know she is keenly aware that her r's with her kids is bad. Nobody knows

I'm at the point where I don't want to pave the perfect road for her back to me. I've done enough paving

I don't accept her letting the girls reach 30 before them trying anything.
I can't and won't do anything about it. I was simply saying i don't accept that as an answer. It's pathetic. I won't sugar coat it so I don't upset this woman.

Your comments only serve to hinder any attempts she may wish to make to re-establish contact with them now or in the future.

I see my comments as justified and clear to the point that she can chose what to do. i don`t have to accept it . I don't need to follow her rules anymore.

Surely if guilting her was an effective strategy it would have worked by now. Dig deep and ask yourself what your goal in those comments really was.

Not my goal at all. Not sure how you saw that as such.

She rents a lot of space in your head and you lashed out at her - maybe b/c she said she did not want to hear from you. But I'm not surprised she does not want to hear from you, given this^^^ interchange.

Again. she has no choice if I travel with them . It`s up to her to keep her comments to herself. I was simply informing her.

I think she is compelled to open your emails, b/c something notable or bad may have happened to the girls. And I think you know this.

So your jabs just look vindictive on your end and they are beneath you, don't you think?

You seem to think for my XW. How do we know what she thought of my message back to her. If it looked like a jab my last comment about her getting her head out of her a$$ well sorry. But that`s what she needs to do.

There is a DB principle that says "Keep the Road Home, Paved & Smooth."

While there may be no hope for a recon between you and your x wife, I don't think you need to put any more boulders on her road back to the kids.

Yes I know this rule. I followed it for over a year and a half. Until I finally realized that she is lost. 3 years of 7 years. There is no coming back for her from this. The girls will chose that for themselves later in life. Me trying to be nice guy is over.

My h has not seen our kids in a year, ignored their birthdays & cut off the college tuition in our d20's 3rd year of college. (He still claims it as a huge expense of his, which takes some nerve).

But I swear If my h told me that he was going to "wait till they turn 30" and then they'd be in contact,
I would thank God.

I`m so sorry you H is a missing in action dad.
My XW over 2 years, empty messages, blame and entitlement. Her plan, I don`t see that as a good thing. My girls will hold a grudge if this goes on until then. 2 years is enough damage to them, their lives are forever changed. They blame any bad thing on her. Adding to their resentment . I get a flat.. they blame her. You see why I wont accept her answer, her plan. I will have nothing to do with it and I will call her out on it if I have to. I don`t have to accept it.

My biggest fear is that he no longer cares and plans no future contact, whereas your w clearly does care, and however feeble her "plan" is, it exist.

How do you know she cares? She clearly doesn't if she continues her new life without them. She is a dead beat.

Of course I know how badly your kids' mom has failed them. Their mom knows it too, and even if she did not, no comments like your above would wake her up.

Again how do you know. I don't even assume that. My comment wasnt meant to wake her up. That won;t happen . I won't try.



Why should I be Mr.nice guy all the time. Its been 2.2 years and it has done nothing. Maybe mrs MLC teen like brat needs to be told to smarten up.
Is it a tactic to wake her up. Not at all. It's me saying it like it is. For her to take it or not. I am no way DBing.

I hope your d's attend the ashes interment

If your FIL was a good man, what was your reasoning not attending? And why didn't the girls?

Guess I missed part of the thread that explains your reasoning on this.

You liked the man, right?

Was he a good man. yes. A broken LBS'r. Went into depression when XW mom did this to him. He never recovered and never worked again. Drifted off into major health problems.

The girls didn't want to see their mom and OM. They didn't want to see anyone of her family because not one of them has reached out to them over these past 2 years.

We saw FIl a few months back in better days. That is what they want to remember him as. No need to see him bloated and strapped to machines.

We will visit his grave site once he is buried.



Sorry if this post is defensive but I think I might of not explained myself right in my last one.

Irish