Any Advice 2

[25yearsmlc]

Is this the correct way to begin a new thread?
If not i apologize. To continue, Tread, no idea what W is saying to the D about this sitch. D is supposed to ride the bus home but all week has been riding home with W. W found out thursday that i wrote a letter to the parents of OM before i got here, and was livid, saying it was crazy and childish, and why couldnt i just walk away.


I think you are on the scorch and burn program. But you are on a divorce Busting site, so you may want to remember that your original goal was softening your wife's heart.

Now D says that was over the top. W said she wanted a Divorce and planned on moving to OM after the school year, and that i could see the kids every summer. I did nt take that too well. It was an ugly argument.

You have to realize your choices do not only affect you and your wife. You say her choices are damaging to the family and I hear you.

But so are your responses, no matter how you justify letting your anger dictate.
Yes you are also pushing your W away from you (and maybe into his arms more)

but I'm talking about what your d will believe in the long run.
IN TIME, your will justify what she has already justified, to your D. And your d will wonder if there's some validity to it.

Having you in this mode of anger fueled behavior (under the guise of "boundary setting/getting HER respect back") won't help you or your d at all.

Where did you find these^^ suggestions in the DB books? That is rhetorical obviously.




It ended when isaid i had decided not to turn him in. Since then been nice as heel. Much like your W, she is fine as long as there is no mention of the A.

So you "Decided not to turn Om in." Do you see what a power struggle you are putting yourself in?

You have NO detachment and I have not heard much about your GAL.
And you keep throwing the threat out as if you are holding THE powerful game winning card. I don't know how to get that across any more clearly than I have. Threatening someone's financial interest OR their reputation is a crime in Texas. In the Stanley case, the defendant threatened to harm the victim's reputation by revealing embarrassing information. Prison sentences are real.

Stop threatening that. It is analogous to threatening robbery, except you seem to feel self righteous about it.

Simply put, you are Not practicing any of the DB principles. I wish you would, since you are on this site.

Can you hire a DB coach, or read the book?




Bad thing is, my S overheard OM tell my wife on facetimme that when he comes up in october he has a plan to stop- me from messing up thier lives.....

so he says he wants to react to your behavior, with something similar? So do you see this as a cause and effect? Can you ask your son to stop listening? He is clearly acting on your behalf even if you have not specifically asked him to.

But Have you? Is he special needs or on the spectrum? I have a brother who is on the spectrum and crossing the line like this is not rare.


I can only imagine it involves false DV charges or something of that nature.

Maybe....

What if he just tells you to stop all the blackmail? I mean, how are you going to rise above this horrific tit for tat -

when the original reason you came here was to Save Your M? You came here to show your w that you are the better choice.


Pretty sad when someone you have spent 17 years with will conspire against you with a douche bag.


GW, I know you are in pain. I really, REALLY get it. Me too. My m of 35 years is ending and I did not see it coming, (I should have, but I did not). 3 kids, including one who is very troubled. I have been in my situation almost a year and it's my 2nd time around.
And there's a lovely life altering health issue in the mix that has made this past year super fun.

So Join the club of people in a painful battle.

I will NOT return fire. I will not post on FB or retaliate in court. Oh yes, I will be sure I protect my financial interests, but I will be above reproach. I will have no regrets about my choices. So far, so good.

But your comment here about how they "will conspire against you" lacks some self awareness.

I think it is a lot like you threatening your w's job...(& OM's security clearance = his career)?

Please read over the posts Sandi wrote if you are going to ignore what I write.



I will talk to my attorney and probably get a retraining order keeping him at least 500 feet from any member of my family. I have to do what is needed to protect my family if this is indeed the case. I cannot take the threat lightly.

Good luck. Seriously, I wish you well.