You have fought for over 1,000 days.......knowing what you know now would you have done anything different?
First off I wouldn't have moved out when we separated. Wasn't aware of DB and thought it was best for me to rock the boat. Then the separation was a joke it was a cake eating fest without her feeling any ramifications of reality. I still paid for everything, went over and put kids on bus when she had to work, family outings, still hung out with friends who didn't know we were separated. Lastly, I wanted to be back home for Christmas and talked her into letting me when she clearly wasn't ready.
Looking back now I should have played it like you are now with the twist of me taking the time to figure out what I wanted instead of worrying so much about trying to get her back.
I should have tried to persuade her more to stick with MC and or get IC. She quit MC after 4-5 sessions and said she didn't need IC.
Life was miserable for me because I could tell she wasn't happy and I couldn't fix it but hey my family was together and I kept trying to convince myself it was a phase she was going through. Bomb drops 7/2016.
At this point I should have backed totally off GAL hard and see if she pursued me.
Based on some comments she makes I really think she doesn't quite understand the ramifications of divorce and a lot of it has to do with the BS separation I allowed her because I acted out a fear.
I had dinner with my wife's cousin on Thursday and she said "w is gonna wake up in a few years and say WTF did I do" and it's going to be too late.
Dude, your DBing perfectly. You have to be strong, firm and let them go. It has to be because they want to come back. It's the only way it works out long term. Make the changes you want to make for yourself. It really is that simple but everyone struggles because of fear. There are no tricks, magic or effects. Become the man you want to be and the universe will bring like mined people into your life.
I'm at my cottage with two of my close friends. There great guys who suffer from NGS and they are in unhappy Ms and feel like they just can't make there Ws happy. They defer all the decisions to their wives never challenge them on anything, are always saying "yes dear" and they can't figure out why their wives don't want to have sex with them.
Most people just don't know that what they think their W wants is really the exact opposite of what she wants.
