New to the journey and thank you.

[25yearsmlc]

all I see in your posts, so far, is stuff about your w's personality disorder or your concerns about HER MLC or HER defects.

You cannot control or fix her. Plus I don't know if you are simply a critical partner or lashing out at her, or if you just do not like her.

But what are you doing to work on in yourself? From what you say, you don't compliment her but you want compliments from her.

And you yourself admit you make biting remarks and your present goal seems to be not to do as much of that and to get her to start a conversation with you. But that seems risky to me, for her. Because what you call "kidding" you admit often angers her, and you used the word "sarcasm".

As an avocation I write & perform stand up comedy. I know something about it. Sarcasm conveys contempt. It better be damn witty to justify itself. Better to use it on oneself in a self deprecating way.

Teasing affectionately requires that genuine affection accompany it AND self deprecating humor follows. To be safe, best to stay with compliments that are authentic and No kidding and No jokes if they are about her or towards her

and from what I can see, maybe stay away from diagnosing HER and work on you.

This^^ is not a criticism, it's an observation with a suggestion. I understand the need to understand our partners and to assign blame or crazy or evil crazy to explain their choices.

Sometimes their choices, when we really reflect, are not so unjustified. It's good news in a way b/c that means You can do something about it. Work on you.