Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 10

[skyhigh]

He might not realize what he has until he looses it... meanwhile you need some time off to find peace again inside yourself. Your life has been a constant turmoil since 2 years.

Detach.... for good. Stop pursing him once and for all. Sorry for the 2'X4", but I had to say it. He has to want to stay, it has to come from him not by being persuaded to do it otherwise he will flip his mind again and again. By pursuing him you are giving him more importance than he has really, you are making him worthier than you. You are reducing your own worth. We chase what is worthy... not the opposite. Think about that...

You did everything you could and beyond. I truly admire you, you never gave up but may be it's time for him to feel what's life is going to be without you to make everything so easy. He needs to feel REALITY.

Remember if you accept to be disrespected once and don't sanction it it will happen again and again. Don't be afraid to stand up, it's tough, it's nerve wrecking, you will question yourself a lot but down the line you will feel empowered and relieved. You have more to win than to loose for him that the opposite.

From what you have been writing since a few months he never had to endure any consequences in regard of his behavior, he kept lying, chatting with girls and disrespecting you, crossing boundaries without having to suffer any consequences.
He never lost anything, you kept losing.

Why do you want him to change or question his behavior if he can keep doing whatever he wants. I made clear to my husband when he asks me to give him another chance (I didn't really want it), if he was going to break any boundaries he was out. He needed that to force himself to resist the temptation to do it again and truly change. He knew what he was going to loose and how determined I was. I showed him how strong and determined I was, and made him understand that he had no more control over me and my life, I was not going to bend over and pursue him anymore.

Even if I am struggling with piecing and a bunch of triggers, his behavior changed drastically since last year and he didn't cross any boundaries. I kept reminding him that these boundaries are not here to punish him but to make me feel safe and also to protect him from being tempted again. Also he know that if he wants to leave I won't stop him but I don't want to be cheated again or being disrespected again in my own home, that my red line.

Whatever the decision you will make, there will always have pros and cons. You have a daughter, you are her role model. Never accept something that you don't want her to accept.