I have read where people kicked the spouse out, thats assuming they will leave. Obviously they have to be willing and you can't force them out. It does appear they got themselves better with GAL etc before they did. I assume it goes hand in had with them getting their confidence back. I do think though that the element of time plays a huge factor.
I think a lot of depends on timing on where your at in your sitch. I have read where exposing the affair works, I have seen where telling them to get out and packing their bags work, I have also read where serving them papers work as well. This is assuming the LBS is fine with the potential consequence. I hve also read that by doing that it could push them closer to the OM which in reality could be the fasest way to get through it. Set them free, say here you go, live it. My W wanted to wait 3 months before she moved out. I told her that wasn't going to work for me and if she wanted to go make it happen. My thought was if this what you want I am not going to hold you back.....I set you free! I think sometimes the LBS wants to hold on emotionally and physically as long as they can.
I do feel that at minimum you have to give the WW enough time to work through their issues and really get a taste of the life. Then when you feel they have had enough of the taste and the LBS is ready you make the decision. You can't go on in limbo forever and we are so young, deserve better, at some point you have to force the WW to make a choice. Again these are just my thoughts but I do think timing is everything and at minimum the WW has to explore the life they think they want.
I have seen some that have filed in the middle of an active affair. Poster LIM is 1 that comes to mind. I think TXhubby did the same thing (I think he finally had enough after close to 3 yrs).
Just realize all the above could backfire and if it does you have to be willing to accept the consequences. If my W is having an A or is banging everyone in sight she kept everything for me. I really don't know how I would react if she was doing it in front of my face in our house. Truthfully I don't think I could do it. After I took the initial punch to the face and got my legs underneath me I wouldn't be able to handle it. But that's just me.
IF you are the type that can handle it then I think that is where the boundaries come into play. They have to be boundaries you can enforce though and that is assuming she is willing to abide by the boundaries you set. If she is in total disrespect mode and no matter what you try to enforce she tells you to $uch off IMO you have your answer. I am lucky my W is not doing that, she is not even active on social media trying to rub it in face. I don't ask and she doesn't tell.
