Still here. Still not detached... (Part 2)

[Painful]

So yes, I am suggesting that you start being more of a d-ck to your wife. (you and Parkema/Mark). She is betraying you in the worst way and so it confuses her (and turns her off) that you continue to be so nice. Start pretending that you are that guy that doesn't want a lying, cheating, crying, selfish, manipulating W. Because I promise you, your W, wants that guy.

Blu

Great post Blu and while I agree with the quoted paragraph, how does that look in practical terms? If a WW has an A and separates because her emotional and/or intimacy needs weren't being met, how's being a d--k now going to bring those connections back for her to want to think of R? Let's say she has an OM who presently meets those and other needs; why would she want to be back with you if you're a d--k?

TBH I've noticed a lot of dichotomy in the principles and advice throughout different threads, e.g.

- be a d--k yet treat her like a neighbor/coworker?
- grow b@lls/don't be doormat yet don't argue and avoid any type of negative interaction
- detach yet validate her feelings?
- give her time and space yet try to make the A as difficult as possible?
- similar ones I can't think of right now

Am I the only one who struggles to reconcile these strategies? If a WW is resentful, rebellious and doesn't currently give a flying f--k about her LBS or his feelings, any attempt to be a d--k would naturally create even more resentment (maybe even borderline hate) towards LBS, wouldn't it? I'm asking because my personality would want to be what Blu is suggesting but I wouldn't be surprised if that is exactly what my WW wants me to be so that she can justify her wayward actions and legitimize the OM with her family who are all against him right now and even possibly introduce him to D11 b/c daddy is mean. My IC is also suggesting a more mild approach to let the A implode rather than striking a match in the gas chamber by being a d--k and harda$$. And yet Blu is suggesting that this behavior will turn the WW off even more. I'M SO CONFUSED!!!