The main argument I see in favor of telling the kids that the LBS did not want the divorce is honesty -- that you should be honest with your kids. I think this argument is flawed because if your parenting was driven by honesty over child welfare, then you would immediately tell them that there is no Santa Claus, no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy etc, because to perpetuate those beliefs is to lie. We entertain these fairy tales for our children because we believe they benefit from them.
Why do we lie to our children about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy? Do children really benefit from fairy tales that require us to lie to them?
Children know that Superman, Frosty the Snowman and Cinderella aren't real and yet they can still derive enjoyment from them and possibly even learn something from the fictional tales.
By the way, I told my sons that my XW wanted the divorce (she was present when I told them) and I'd do it again without reservation. Is it the right thing to do? I think so, but I'm often wrong.
