MLC or WAS... either way, I'm here

[LAJar]

Thanks peace.
Your parting words of "Hang in there friend", so simple but much needed. Today would have been 10 year anniversary. Sad for the old, loving memories of what was, but I'll get through.

The unknowing is plain and simple horrible. His choices have put me in this state. At times I feel somewhat paralyzed by what's the right way to handle things. It's just not a place I thought I'd ever be, caused by H's decisions.

I know I won't feel this way forever and am slowly pulling myself out of this hole. Having still not been served, it's daunting to think I have a minimum of another 6 months (divorce process) to go through this. Ha! As if this stops with just the legal process.

I appeciate input from the vets who have gone through this and can offer words of support. The clearer eyes to provide advice from a place of, "I know, I've been there", are invaluable. I see it in the eyes of friends and family who only see me going through this, but truly can't relate. I know I have to be true to myself and do what's best for me and my sitch.

I write this from a hotel room in Las Vegas. I am a third wheel with my brother and his gf for a weekend trip to get me the h@ll out of my house to forget about today. I hope it works for the most part. It doesn't even feel like my anniversary, which is just sad. When I return, I will work on what to do with my house. My thought is to email H, tell him since he failed to pay mortgage I cannot afford the mortgage and house expenses much longer. I will be having the house appraised and my brother will be listing the house. If he doesn't want brother to represent him, he will need to find realtor to co-list. I'm angry he's failed his obligation and want to be stern, but know I need to tow the line. Any thoughts on the best way to word this?