Still here. Still not detached... (Part 2)

[Chris73]

Are you giving her reasons to return & restore the m, other than guilt?

I'd like to think so. We don't speak about the marriage or the relationship that much anymore. The "let's try to work through our issues" discussions never got us anywhere.

We had a few sessions of MC and oddly enough after the second session I got a random phone call from her a day later stating, "I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything that you have been doing for our family and for us. It hasn't gone unnoticed. So thank you." And then not two weeks later she was pushing for divorce and calling me a selfish gaslighting a-hole.

Since then I haven't brought it up much. Yesterday was the first time in a long time that I attempted to break through the wall of her "all smiles and business" demeanor.

And I HAVE really stepped it up with regard to the things she always complained about. Primarily the "take charge" attitude that I lacked for so long. But I have always tried to make her understand that reconciliation means starting over. Squashing all the stuff that we did to each other in the past and not holding grudges.

But I'm really convinced despite all her denials that there is still some OM in the picture and it's probably getting more serious. If so, I'm sure this relationship has influence over her decisions.

Regardless, I feel like I'm keeping my chin up for the most part. I'm happy with the changes I've made and I feel like I have an even better relationship with my kids. Taking over the house on my own is going to be tough, but it's exactly what I need. The last couple of day were real downers. But the weekend is here and I'm taking Monday off to go down the shore and unwind.