I had an A so do I have the right to complain abt my unmet needs now or endure and be so unhappy
I want to come back to your question, but first I have a question for you. If your H was here, how do you think he would describe the MR.......and mostly what would he say about you?
I think the M can be saved, if both of you get professional guidance and are willing to do hard work from now on......indefinitely. It sounds as if he needs educated about relationships and what women need and feel. From reading your posts, it makes me wonder about his upbringing and his male role models' influence on him.
Do you have a right to complain about unmet needs and endure unhappiness? You have a right to have your needs met. You have a right to be happy. Complaining about it to your H, doesn't seem to be working. In all fairness, that's how some of us try to inform our S of our needs.........but they mistranslate. Your A did not help the MR, but neither did it destroy it. From the way I read your account, the MR was in serious trouble, prior the A. You made the decision to do the right thing. Has your H forgiven you, or is he punishing you?
I know how it feels to go for years with unmet needs, and not feeling happy in my MR. Something I use to hear on the board when I first joined was that we are responsibile for our own happiness. It is not the responsibility of my H to "make" me be happy.........and that was a big pill of truth I had to swallow. FWIW, I think I know what you mean. Why have you stayed and endured unmet needs?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
